Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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