i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
