Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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