I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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