I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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