i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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