dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
