You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
