I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
how drunk are you?
Several
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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