Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
