Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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