I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
