thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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