To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
