I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
