I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
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It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
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you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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