Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
