I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
