I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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