sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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