I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
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I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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