I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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