big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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