i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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