Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
