yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
