He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
