lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
