I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
