the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
