then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
