everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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