Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
