I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
