Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
