I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wish I only lived at night.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
