you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
