your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize