Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
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Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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