we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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