so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
