So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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