I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
