I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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