I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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