Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.

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(757): View more from Virginia

apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick

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(806): View more from Texas

I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.

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(813): View more from Florida

I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(413): View more from Massachusetts

Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?

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(562): View more from California

Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.

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(330): View more from Ohio

she's p upset bro

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Where is he. I have a sword.

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