If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
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You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.