i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
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His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
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Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today