Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake

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(203): the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake http://tfl.nu/cxtf

Replies (67) Good night (3162) Bad night (988)
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(406): View more from Montana

she pinky promised me she was 18

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(406): she pinky promised me she was 18 http://tfl.nu/cbo2

Replies (67) Good night (8162) Bad night (3224)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.

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(847): Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins. http://tfl.nu/vi8m

Replies (5) Good night (4388) Bad night (1222)
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(289): View more from Ontario

You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.

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(289): You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person. http://tfl.nu/dofi

Replies (14) Good night (3363) Bad night (835)
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(713): View more from Texas

I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.

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(713): I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies. http://tfl.nu/hoog

Replies (3) Good night (2152) Bad night (674)
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(623): View more from Arizona

This tent reeks of fear and sangria

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(623): This tent reeks of fear and sangria http://tfl.nu/pbhq

Replies (3) Good night (1613) Bad night (742)
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(905): View more from Ontario

he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love

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(905): he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love http://tfl.nu/0ny7

Replies (21) Good night (3773) Bad night (819)
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(630): View more from Illinois

So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could

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(630): So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could http://tfl.nu/zj3u

Replies (4) Good night (2008) Bad night (1312)
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(315): View more from New York

I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night

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(315): I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night http://tfl.nu/ggh6

Replies (4) Good night (622) Bad night (1849)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights

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(312): I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights http://tfl.nu/amvj

Replies (5) Good night (1101) Bad night (503)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence

(1-505): View more from New Mexico

That sucks

(505): View more from New Mexico

It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!

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(505): I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence (1-505): That sucks (505): It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee! http://tfl.nu/y3d0

Replies (2) Good night (773) Bad night (395)
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(303): View more from Colorado

No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.

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(303): No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities. http://tfl.nu/n27f

Replies (1) Good night (718) Bad night (357)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.

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(610): The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable. http://tfl.nu/zn9i

Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (1083)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog

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(570): Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog http://tfl.nu/gmkp

Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (213)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect

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(704): He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect http://tfl.nu/wh1c

Replies (4) Good night (225) Bad night (482)

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