So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not