You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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