i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
