I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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