Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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