I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
