I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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