im drinking this country out of the recession.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
