I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How does one acquire holy water?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
