apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize