is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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