HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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