Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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