If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
They took my balls.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
