scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
