I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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