i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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