cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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