HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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