She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
