the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
