he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
