Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
